The Show

You heard them on the radio
You’ve been pumped for weeks
The tickets have arrived
And the date has been cleared
The time is finally here
As you step in, the energy almost becomes tactile
People of all classes and style begin to pour in
The talking and shuffling of feet only add to the excitement
You draw near the breaking point of anticipation
That’s when the lights go down
You let out an involuntary squeal
While the faint wail of guitar strings echo through the room
Shadows become clearer on the stage
Drumsticks count off
Stage lights appear
The band begins to play
You rock out with them, not worrying about the mild bumping of the crowd

The set list then moves into a more harmonious and peaceful tune
The jumping has stopped, but the singing becomes clearer
The lyrics seem to mean more now
As you scan the room, the uplifted hands and singing lips come into view
In that moment, it wasn’t about the band anymore
And in that moment,

You could’ve sworn you caught a glimpse of heaven

You forget who you came with
You forget what you’re wearing
You forget all your worries of that day
In that moment, you remember who it’s really all about

If you thought you were coming to a rock concert, you were highly mistaken
You came to something so much more than that

He is so much more than that

The Fall

I’ve found myself here again
Not quite sure how to fix it all
Pride has always been my biggest sin
And routinely causes me to fall
Why do you still want me
I’m broken and can’t see past myself
You seem to care
But I can’t see past my filth
I need to know it’s gonna be okay
I need to hear you say
That You are here
This pain is too much to bear
God, why does it take so long to get me here
A state of humbleness, I must acquire
‘Cause it’s the sweetest feeling when my tears roll down
And my knees hit the ground
I learn to turn my eyes up
And decided to shut up
It’s in that moment that I can finally hear
What You had been saying so clear
Child, it’s gonna be more than okay
I’m forever here to stay
There’s nothing you have to fear
My Son took your pain to wear
I can’t believe what a difference it makes to fall

Nice Guys Finish Last?

Jude Law, Shia Labeouf, the stud that always sits in the back…a.k.a. The Bad Boy.

What makes him so appealing? Why do good girls seem to always fall for him?

He lives dangerously, risking his life in his hobbies. He’s great at flirting and always keeps us on the edge of our seats wondering if he’ll make a move. He fears nothing and no one, which makes us feel that he could protect us from anything. He may have tats and piercings. Maybe he smokes/drinks. He has no curfew because his time is revolving around what he wants to do. His independence makes him seem like such a man.

He has a past and that keeps him looking mysterious. A Good Girl wants to know more about him. She thinks she can make him believe that she could mean the world to him.She feels the need to be the shoulder he can lean on, although,truthfully, she ends up being just another notch in the bedpost. Let me be blunt:

A bad boy’s past may be interesting but his future isn’t very promising.

Once the world has taken over his heart, there’s nothing we can do. We have to step aside and let God work. This is why I hate missionary dating(yes, that’s what dating a bad boy is). You think you can change his ways and be the One that got through to him.

You can’t. You’re just human and to him, a girl.

That’s why you should keep your eyes pealed for the Gentleman. He’ll put God first which will make loving you a piece of cake. He knows that Christ loves his church and that he should love you the same and be willing to lay his life down for you.

I purposefully called him the Gentleman and not Mr.Perfect because no one is. The Gentleman is mysterious, but not because he has to hide something. He’s exciting and lives life to the fullest, but doesn’t need to break rules for a thrill. He’s got his own thing going and is your friend first. He doesn’t need you, but he desires you.

So the next time you’re, ahem, admiring the male creature, just keep in mind what God wants for you. Does the guy want your heart to break or does he want to love you like Christ does?

“But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.”–Matthew 19:30

Homesick

Keeping the A/C a little too cold
Wearing my shoes a little too tight
I don’t ever wanna feel exactly right
Shed a few tears
Feel a little pain
This is my odd way of staying sane
Uncomfortable
Stand up, don’t sit
Whatever I do
I gotta stay homesick
Father God
Please keep me homesick
You see, comfort here is overrated
When it’s compared to You
Yeah, the Comforter will come one day
And make us all brand new
When I get home
Gonna kick off my shoes
Let my hair down
And just let loose
Heaven’s the place made for me
My home where I become free
I’m homesick ’cause I don’t belong
And God, I pray, don’t let it be long

Inspired by 2 Cor.5

Peace On Earth

I’m not a very emotional person. You won’t catch me crying over random stupid things like a lot of girls will. But something hit me tonight and since I cried, I thought that it was important enough to share.

Tonight I walked around Bywaters Park, across from the library, looking at all the Christmas lights and characters they have set up. There’s alway this one big tree that represents people, usually young, that have died. It’s to help grieving parents in their loss at this time of year. I’d always walked by it and thought, “Hmm, that’s nice” , then carried on. But tonight I decided to take the time to actually walk all the way around it. I saw pictures of young kids that had passed and read poems from their parents.

I then came to a letter that got me. It was by a grieving parent. It was such an honest letter addressed to the people around them. It told of how frustrated they were, how they would never be able to just “get over it”. They’d mask their sorrow sometimes, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t always remain. They asked for people to not ignore them when they spoke of their child, but to listen.

I guess it didn’t help that I was listening to Lifehouse while I read it, but God works in those “ironic” ways. That letter got me and I cried. Right there in public.

This past year I had to attend a girl’s funeral. She hadn’t even turned 2. I had thought about that family and the hell they must go through just to make it through each day without giving up. Their faith in God is something to be praised. That letter reminded me of them and all those that go through that during every holiday. So now I ask, pray for their comfort. Pray that when you meet these people, you can be there to listen and hug and love on them.

When this crap happens to good people, it becomes difficult to realize the possibility of peace on earth. When there’s war happening and people degrading, killing, and ignoring others, it almost seems impossible. That’s when I recall an awesome Christmas song from Hawk Nelson called “I Heard The Bells”. I highly recommend giving it a listen.

“Then pealed the bells more loud and deep
God is not dead nor does he sleep
The wrong shall fail the right prevail
with peace on earth goodwill to men”

What do you believe?

I believe Love is not a 9-5 job.
I believe Satan looks beautiful.
I believe Christian rock bands are my generation’s missionaries.
I believe in staying homesick.
I believe my God’s enough.

What do you believe?

(This is just a few random thoughts I had about what I believe. Please let me know your beliefs!)

My Will

Nothing can move me. Your will for me keeps me grounded in You.
I try my ways of keeping the evil out, but bad habits creep in so easily. I have relied on what I could do and what I know and they fail me everytime.
You said if i asked, then I’d receive.
But I don’t know what to ask for.
You said trust and I’d know the way.
But I seem to trust more in myself and others and end up turned around.
I’m so tired of running from You. That’s not at all what I wanted.

You’re so far above me. Your plans are so much better than I could dream.

I think too much. I pretend to know too much. I have to trust in You. I should decrease and You should increase. I’m open and ready. I want to breathe You in.

I’m relying on the One that never fails.

“I’m learning to give up the rights to myself
The bits and the pieces I’ve gathered as wealth
Could never compare to the joy that You bring me
The peace that You show me is the strength that I need”–”My Will” by dcTalk

Amazing Love

I’ve read these amazing stories of these druggies, porn stars, and murderers that have been changed by God. They went from their lives deep in sin to the Christian life that leads to salvation. I sit and wonder, I’ve never been that far off the path. I never experienced what they did. Maybe I’m not as thankful and appreciative of the sacrifice. Maybe I am not as deep in sin as I should be to really need cleansing. I don’t have any kind of amazing testimony to tell. Sometimes I just feel like another kid in the youth group. I’m the good one that doesn’t get into any trouble and isn’t ever expected to. So I didn’t think I was forgiven of as much as the people before, right?

I’ve never gotten drunk, but I’ve become numb to other’s feelings

I’ve never had sex, but I’ve dressed like a slut and looked at guys with lust

I’ve never tried drugs, but I’ve gotten high on my own pride

I’ve never commited murder, but I have shot my friends down  with ugly words

I’ve never shouted “God” in conversation, but I’ve never shouted “God” when I’m first faced with a battle

Maybe I was just as bad off as they were. And maybe I couldn’t see it because I was set on my own-made pedestal. I was always in need and even if people can’t see it, my God and I can. I need Him and He knows He’s needed by all. Whether we’re “good people” or a total 180 of that, we’re still in desperate need of Him. 

For me, it goes something like this:

“I spent some time just waiting on God,and, trust me, there’s no big ending to this story, except that one day I just stood up and said, ‘I still believe’.” —TobyMac

At the beginning, I thought, “I don’t have an amazing story where I went from being deep in sin to a life without it.” However, my life was full of sin that demanded a blood sacrifice that I couldn’t pay.

“I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.” Luke 7:47

I’ve been forgiven much and I’m most grateful. My story involves my amazing God saving me when I needed it the most. That’s what ends up making this story an amazing one!

Good Enough

“For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.”  Hosea 6:6

Tiring and exhausting, I’m wearing thin

Work hard for your approval

Why bother when I know the end result

Striving for your standards, must they be so dang high

The closer I get to the top, the higher it becomes

What your life exemplifies is just too demanding

He delivered Himself up for me

Why?

Why would He choose to save a wretch like me

How?

How could I ever pay Him back

I can’t

There is only one explanation for this act

It was an act of love

And His offering can’t be paid back

It must be accepted, with love

A living sacrifice is what I’ll be, this will be my prayer

That I don’t get so hung up on falling behind perfection

But that I return His act of love with love for His people

“You say You love me/That’s all I’ll ever need/If You say I’m good enough, that’s good enough for me”–Fireflight

Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been

Have you ever wanted to change, but couldn’t because of what people around you expect from you? Truthfully, I’ve been having trouble with this for quite awhile. God has given me a couple of revelations, a “duh” moment, so to speak. I’ve become very aware of what He wants from me. I even have the want to do it. I begin to follow His way, but then someone brings me down. My mom always gives her honest opinion of my attitude and actions. I can always trust her to let me know what I need to work on. The downfault is when i DO try to change my ways, the people around me only think of my past deeds. I get so frustrated, not only at them, but me too. I think, “Maybe if I hadn’t been doing wrong for so long, then it would be easier.” And sometimes I just feel like screaming at my friends, “How can I change if you won’t let me!”

I wonder how Paul felt right after he became a Christian. I mean, he slaughtered God’s people, but then saw the light(pun,haha) and started preaching everywhere he went. Then, some days later, the Jews(who are supposed to be very Godly people) planned to kill him. He made this complete 180 into the right direction, but then God’s chosen wanted to bring him down…to the grave! Iwish I could talk to Paul and find out how he got through it. I know he had Barnabas take him under his wing and speak up for him until he was finally accepted by the apostles. Where’s my Barnabas?

To Whom It May Concern(you know who you are):

I pray you understand

“I’m sorry for the person I became

I’m sorry that it took so long for me to change

I’m ready to be sure I never become that way again

‘Cause who I am hates who I’ve been

Who I am hates who I’ve been”